princess*

Sunday, August 24, 2003

so much things to write.. i mean like so many gd n terrible things happened over the past few days.. or maybe week... sigh... i will start wif the unpleasant side... n the thing tt is bothering me the most.. well rosel read my blog n she sent me this: i dunnoe if she minds but yar... ( well i juz deleted it fr here) too personal well... i realli dunnoe wad to sae... n not sure if she minds tt i post it here.. but is wad she said true? well.. it is not tt i dun believe her.. but i juz cant believe tt i m actually sound tt jian lorhx.. well maybe i gues... esp when i 'tao' pple t i dun like... but yar.... maybe i shld go n get the scholarship... well maybe i sound like a material girl and as wad shaum said.. no money will die like tt... i guess it is time.. i be down to earth.. n stop living in tt mterialistic world.. perhaps.. i guess tt there is surely more den tt to life like wad my 2nd uncle said... i rather u be street-smart den to be academically smart.. so i guess i m dumb after all n not the smart one... i guess perhaps.. i m still tt proud old melissa... perhaps i did not change... i mean like.. ok.. sorri if i offended anyone wif my proudness.... maybe n i shld live a less lavish life.. n scrimp n save for my cambridge edu... maybe.. i shld juz eke out my own career n w/o any help fr my parents... i m not like blaming roel or wad.. but am uz doing some soul-searching.... guess i m still tt self-centred creatrue tt i used to be n still am..maybe i was realli too selfish..w/o sparing a thought of the others round me... perhaps.. i guess... i will need to change.. n turn over a new leaf.. rosel.. if u r reading dis... well i juz want u noe tt i m greatful tt u sent me dis e-mail.. i mean likeyar.. seriously.. i tink dis has waken me up fr all my fantasy... i noe everione has a turning pt in their lives.. though i dun understand the true meaning of it.. i guess it is some important point of time in their lives.. well i guess god has finally given me THE turning point.. perhaps i will be better girl tmr.. perhaps i will be worst.. but like i dunnoe lorhx... i m damn confused... i m like stuck.. in some sense... n i got like so many things to do.. well nvm.. will blog tmr again... sighz

Melissalost in [[fairytale]]-land
10:54 PM